sadness

this weekend we made an impromptu family trip to LA to do the tourist-y things we don't do since we live in the area. We stayed at the Bonaventure, rode those outside elevators, played at the pool, ate at Tito's Tacos (not as good as Lisa and I remember), went to LACMA, and saw G-Force at the El Cap (whoa, that's a bad movie).

At the LACMA, we checked out the Japanese art pavilion. Lot of emotion there, but I kept it under wraps... after we went to Little Tokyo... visited a shop with a lot of Ma memories... it was tough, but I didn't crack.

Yesterday, when we got back, I checked Facebook (yeah, I'm a little addicted, but at least I didn't take my laptop with us on the trip). A former student from Oxy had be-friended me about a month or so back, had told me how much my class meant to her, and had said that she was looking forward to the Shakespeare project. It was a very nice letter.

Last night, I had a message from my inbox from her account. Only it wasn't from her; it was from her husband, saying she had passed away on July 3, while in Arizona. I looked at her profile... it was heartbreaking:

XXX go to leave 2 help move and I have a flat....ugh. its so hot out and the day will drag. Missing my man ;(
July 2 at 3:09pm

then strand comments

FRIEND Where are you?
July 2 at 3:28pm

HUSBAND That sucks. Iv changed flats out there in 120 degrees. It not fun. LUVU. Baby.
July 2 at 6:18pm

FRIEND 2 lady when do you come home anyways?
July 2 at 11:15pm

XXX I am in Fort Mohave Arizon until this Sunday. We will have been here for 3 weeks. The time has gone fast but when it comes to the night and my man is not beside me it has been forever.
July 3 at 1:34am

FRIEND 2 I miss you TammyLoooo!!!!!!
July 7 at 9:54pm

Then, starting on July 4, comments of support for the husband on her passing, and posts of memories and condolences...


So last night, I responded to the message her husband sent:

I am so sorry to hear of her passing.

I lost my mom a few years back and it hit me hard... I don't know what I would do if I lost my Lisa. I hope you're doing OK.

I know we don't know each other, but if you need anything (even if it's just to vent and rant and purge the heaviness), please let me know... I'll do what I can.

Hang in there...

bw

I well up, but I'm not crying. That's a good sign, right? Maybe I can throttle down on the Wellbutrin... or not.