Involuntary Drug Experiment

Late Saturday night.

Can't sleep in the heat. Heat might be the culprit, but I don't think so.

Yesterday, I called in a refill of my Wellbutrin, my anti-depressant meds... I was down to three Friday morning, so I called it in after taking my one pill in the morning. Since the last refill, we've upped the prescription from two to three a day (one in the morning, two at night). Refills usually are ready the same afternoon, so I called it in, thinking all was good. The automated pharmacist told me that I wasn't approved for a refill until next Saturday, and asked if I wanted the human pharmacist to call the doctor for confirmation.

Fuck, yes.

Of course, my doc doesn't work on Fridays.

And of course, weekends.

And Friday night, I was down to two. So I took only one, instead of the usual night-time two.

And this morning I skipped it, thinking night-time is more important, given my doc's earlier statements that the third pill should be taken as a two-fer before bed, as it should help with my restless nights.

Fearful of trying to go without any pills tomorrow, I skipped tonight's as well.

And now I can't sleep. My mind is racing, and quite frankly I feel jittery. But it could be the heat (I've never been good in the heat)... I feel sweaty, clammy, my stomach is a little upset, and my chest is a little tight.

I may have to call the doc's answering service tomorrow and have them contact the doctor and have him call it in personally tomorrow. Or maybe I can go to the pharmacist tomorrow (he knows me by face) and see if he can front me a half-dozen pills before Monday. Yeah, maybe I can do that.

If I thought an orgasm would help, I'd go porn-surfing and have at it. But I don't think that'll work. Sorry, I know. TMI.

Maybe I'll organize my downloads of movie/tv sound clips (for use in water polo highlight vids). Or I could watch SNL... though not much of an Ashton Kutcher fan. Whatever. Or watch BSG, since Lisa was too tired to watch it tonight (we're playing catch-up with John Adams on HBO... and a freaking awesome show that is).

Kyle's team escaped with a victory today (9-8). He had a pretty lousy game, but his team showed a lot of heart, fight back from a 3 goal deficit at the half. If Kyle saved the same last week with his 13 saves, then the offense saved his bacon today.

Shit, I'm rambling now.

Maybe I continue cutting and pasting my old Journal of a Short-Timer into Blogger until I get too tired or faced with the verification text thingee.

I hate this feeling. I feel weak and scared.

I need my fucking drugs.

That's scary. I had intended when I got out of bed to write much of the above, but not that last line. That just came out.

That scares me... I'll need to take that last pill tonight, I think.